What If The Thing Isn't The Thing?
What If the Thing Isn’t the Thing?
Exploring the Real Roots of What Could Be Holding You Back
Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck in the same loop, repeating the same patterns, or reacting in ways that don’t quite make logical sense? Maybe you’re telling yourself, “I need more time and less stress for this not to happen,” or “If I had more sleep, or time to relax, I’d not be as over reactive.” Maybe you’re not being so kind to yourself, “Frame yourself, get a grip.”
What if the thing … isn’t the thing?
Within my work, I’ve seen this plenty of times. The shouty surface-level problem — stress, overwhelm, anxiety, people-pleasing, self-doubt — is seldom the root cause. It’s often an extension of something deeper, often teetering in the subconscious, rooted in early experiences, unresolved emotions, or well-past-their-sell-by-date beliefs.
I liken this process of unravelling, getting to the root cause to the stitch that can be found on packaging. I recall this from years ago, with the big sacks that my Dad’s pigeon feed came in (he was a pigeon fancier, more on that in another post). I was fascinated how he’d snip the end and the whole thread would unravel.
When doing this kind of work, I visualise the thread of energy moving through our past experiences, thoughts, beliefs and decisions. Identifying and connecting to the most recent experience and choosing to ‘snip’ and release all the way back to the origin story
Choosing to release all that is attached to this one belief.
It’s a relatively quick process.
The Inner Child Connection
*What if one of your money stories was linked to the day your Dad hid your subs for Brownies? You decided subconsciously that money was always going to be scarce and hard to find.
*What if one of your fertility stories was linked to Grandma wanting boys? You made the decision you weren’t good enough as a girl.
*What if one of your work stories was around seeing your Dad work so hard? You decided that you were always to be seen as the first one in and the last one out?
The list goes on (and on, and on). *denotes, my actual stories!
At the heart of most of our adult challenges resides the inner child — that younger version of us who created decisions, simply based on what they knew and felt at the time usually through a lens of vulnerability, charged emotion, and survival.
Whether it was a critical teacher, emotionally unavailable parent, or a childhood moment where we felt unseen or unsafe, these experiences leave imprints. And those imprints don’t disappear just because we’re now adulting.
They form the blueprint for how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world.
Energy-based therapies like Matrix Reimprinting and EFT allow us to gently and safely connect with these inner child parts — not to relive the past, but to reframe and release the stuck emotional energy so we can create a new pattern moving forward, through choice.
Receiving regular EFT and Matrix Reimprinting sessions, I was able to resolve many of my inadequacy feelings, ‘what’s wrong with me’ thoughts, paralysing procrastination, triggering, overwhelming stuck feelings.
Accepting the thing was never the thing, it simply kept re-appearing with a different identity, problem or fancy dress costume on!
This is where transformational tools like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Matrix Reimprinting, Energy Psychology, and Mindset Coaching can really make a difference.
So Why Does This Matter?
Because resolving these old patterns changes everything!
Accepting this, resolving and neutralsing the origin energy, whilst keeping valuable life lessons gained along the way, can lead to a sense of being so much more emotionally lighter, with less mental and physical stress, all wrapped up in a ‘life is good’ blanket.
Imagine if …
You stop overreacting to the lesser important things — because your nervous system is no longer stuck in the past.
You reclaim energy — because you’re no longer spending it on emotional firefighting.
You feel more empowered, confident, and more like the person you’ve felt detached from — because you're no longer running on outdated programming.
So What Next?
5 Tips to Start Shifting Today
If you’re curious to explore this idea of “the thing not the thing,” here are a few gentle ways to begin:
Notice Your Triggers
What consistently irritates, hurts, or drains you? That’s usually a teeny, tiny stepping stone, leading to a deeper root.Get Curious, Not Critical
Instead of judging your reaction, ask: What younger part of me is showing up here?Try Tapping (EFT)
A simple round of EFT on what you’re feeling right now can calm the nervous system and give clarity. (Tip: Start with the side of the hand and acknowledge how you feel.)
Check out my YouTube channel for guided tap-a-longs.https://www.youtube.com/@lynnbutlerholistichealth
Create a Safe Space for Your Inner Child
Imagine your younger self — what would she need to feel safe, loved, and supported? How can you offer that now?Allow Support
Healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Working with a therapist or coach can help uncover, reframe, and release what you’ve been carrying for far too long.
How Coaching Therapy Can Help
In our sessions together, we go far beyond surface-level fixes. Using a blend of mindset coaching, EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, and energy healing, we work with all of you — mind, body, emotions, and energy.
We gently unravel the patterns that no longer serve you and create space for a new story — one that reflects who you truly are, not who you had to be.
If you’re ready to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface and feel supported every step of the way, I’d love to walk the path with you.
Book a free initial chat to learn more https://www.lynnbutler.me/chat
Until next time, Lynn :)
